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Post by Deleted on Jun 20, 2019 14:42:52 GMT
This came out of the worst dates thread, so thought to give it its own spot. Honestly not even sure I'm willing to put my energy out there again. Can feel I'm closed to it these days, though occasionally will sense that pull of seeing someone in passing who grabs my attention, but it's so rare and around here they are probably taken or have an addiction.  It's like I closed that part of me down with needing to concentrate on other things... but I still really like men. Grew up with three brothers who were my best friends. How could I not like men? But women I realized I really love after all these years, so am developing my relationships with them now (not that way). So dates with men that could lead to romance, as much as I still love the idea of falling in love with someone who is my best friend... at this stage of focusing on work so I can hopefully retire in a few years, don't see it happening. Seems like I'm always at a stage of postponing it, like, "when I finish raising my children, then I'll focus on a relationship." Then I have one for a few years and realize what was I thinking? So then I think, "when I finish working, then I'll have the time to find and focus on a relationship..." I can see me postponing love for the rest of my life at this rate.  |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 20, 2019 14:47:17 GMT
I'm in love right now, but he's far far away~
(Fortunately for him. LOL)
;-)
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Post by Deleted on Jun 20, 2019 17:57:11 GMT
Seems like I'm always at a stage of postponing it, like, "when I finish raising my children, then I'll focus on a relationship." Then I have one for a few years and realize what was I thinking? So then I think, "when I finish working, then I'll have the time to find and focus on a relationship..." I got told off from my Son with him saying there is never a right time as something will always crop up. I'll do it after this and that and it never comes. He is right. I was waiting to sort work fully then I will make another excuse I got told.
I've been trying lately, but I think I'm fully out soon. All this effort for someone to ask me 2 or 3 years down the line how me and so n so is and for me just to say fine seems counter productive haha.
I've had conversations online lately that make paint drying seem more fun and if I don't drive the conversation it ends. If you ask someone who is their favourite walking dead character is and they answer you kind of expect them to reciprocate and ask you in return, but no, it seems too hard for some to gather a thought in their tiny little skulls.
Time Vampires...
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Post by cbgb77 on Jun 20, 2019 19:14:19 GMT
I'm in love right now, but he's far far away~ (Fortunately for him. LOL) ;-) |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 20, 2019 19:28:51 GMT
There is a teeny tiny bit of me that sometimes wants a relationship. However, as nice as together time is I've always needed my space and turn into a screaming Mimi without it. Then I looked at other things in my life and about myself. That's when I realized that involving another person isn't fair to them.
So no, I'm not on hold. I'm shut down.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 20, 2019 20:16:46 GMT
Can empathize with each of you. Don’t think I’ll ever want a conventional relationship again. Didn’t really want it in my marriage either I realized much later, but I was young and didn’t think there could be other options back then.
Think my best relationship in a way lasted six years part time. He’d spend Friday nights until Mondays or Tuesday mornings with me and then go completely back to his life and leave me mine with my children. No, he wasn’t married nor had children, but loved my youngest son and this suited us both very well. It was a schizophrenic life for sure, though, full of hello’s and goodbye’s, but sex was still wonderful at the end and I doubt I would have ended that relationship had he gotten along better with my older children, teenagers then, and had I not decided to move back to the States from England.
Seems many people feel like me that living together full time isn’t desired again. But too far away and getting together then becomes very rare and costly and how can the relationship develop and grow then?
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Post by Deleted on Jun 20, 2019 20:23:32 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 20, 2019 22:16:40 GMT
The whole kick me out on a Monday morning works good for me with limited contact until Friday sounds awesome. More chance of finding an Unicorn in my homeland :) |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 21, 2019 0:17:22 GMT
The whole kick me out on a Monday morning works good for me with limited contact until Friday sounds awesome. More chance of finding an Unicorn in my homeland :) In my experience, finding women who want nothing more than this is easy in my age bracket. Many of them came out of shitty long term marriages and the kids are off to college, so it's their time to pretend they're 21 again. |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 21, 2019 0:36:12 GMT
^^^ hahaha
Oh for gods sake
No woman of a certain age I know ever wants to be 21 again.
But we still want to have a good time with a man. As a grown up person.
Where are all the grown up men?
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Post by Deleted on Jun 21, 2019 0:44:05 GMT
The ones I know certainly want to live like they're 21 again and make no bones about it at all. I go through moods shifts where I find this great, yet other times I'm tired of it.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 21, 2019 2:32:06 GMT
A woman a bit older than you might be a better match?
IDK
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Post by Deleted on Jun 21, 2019 3:02:41 GMT
I've been there, and it's generally the same experience. My current mood is - I'm tired of closing down bars/clubs 3-5 nights a week.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 21, 2019 3:12:50 GMT
Wow. No one I know has done that for many years on a regular basis like that. Where are you finding these women? Have you thought of seeing a play, an art show opening, making a meal together, or anything that does not involve a night of drinking in a bar or club?
Was thinking maybe 30 or 40 something women might want to be young again? But not at 50 or 60, at least not in my circles. Yes it's lovely to feel the freedom after raising children, and again maybe it's at this age, but we have no desire to go so far back in time to our young and foolish years again.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 21, 2019 7:13:57 GMT
It varies, but a lot of them I've met in the local music scene. I don't know where they get the fucking energy for it all, either. I like a wild and crazy night out as much as anyone else, but these women believe every moment outside of work should be an all out, balls to the wall party. The crazy part is, I'm a non-drinker.
When I tell them they're going overboard, they try to shame me with shit like ''oh, you must be getting old", which is utter horseshit. It's not that I'm physically exhausted, it's mentally taxing more than anything else.
They don't take into consideration that so much of my adult life has been spent in that atmosphere, going back to the days when they were at home enduring their miserable marriages.
I'm to the point where if I hear "I'm making up for lost time" ever again, I will puke all over myself.
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