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Post by Deleted on Jun 24, 2019 4:07:50 GMT
It's different for every family I think (and I grew up mostly in New England too). So many of us former New Englanders here. I love New England!
That's so cool, cb, there are a few of us here now from this little corner of the world. Loved the video too. Reminded me there's a song about here where I live in New England. Many people have recorded it, but this is the most famous.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 25, 2019 0:52:42 GMT
I do miss touch though. I didn't recognize this until recently. I recently changed the building I work in, and hence, the people I work with. There are two men who have touched me since starting there. Yes, I actually remember each instance, clearly. Each of them put their hand on my back. Each time, especially the first time, I very nearly had a skip in my breathing because I realized with quite a start that no one ever touches me anymore, ever. Quite a realization. For the life of me, I can't understand why you're having a moment's trouble in the dating world. You should be killing it out there. I think you're very attractive.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 25, 2019 21:35:56 GMT
I do miss touch though. I didn't recognize this until recently. I recently changed the building I work in, and hence, the people I work with. There are two men who have touched me since starting there. Yes, I actually remember each instance, clearly. Each of them put their hand on my back. Each time, especially the first time, I very nearly had a skip in my breathing because I realized with quite a start that no one ever touches me anymore, ever. Quite a realization. For the life of me, I can't understand why you're having a moment's trouble in the dating world. You should be killing it out there. I think you're very attractive. I'll +1 this.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 25, 2019 22:43:54 GMT
I read her post, her whole post, differently than you guys. To me it seemed it's not that she isn't attracting anyone. And I agree she's lovely - you're lovely, bb. It's more her decision these days is she's not looking for a relationship based on her past efforts in them. But with that came her recent realization she's missing touch.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 26, 2019 2:10:36 GMT
She had mentioned in another thread that the number of messages she received diminished when she had a picture up on POF, as opposed to having no picture. Coupled with her last post, it just left me baffled.
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Post by awesomejoe73 on Jun 28, 2019 12:39:19 GMT
^^^^^ True. More baffling is that ANYONE would get messages without a photo. I wonder if the messages when there are no pics up are motivated by those curious who just want collect photo's.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 28, 2019 14:49:58 GMT
I would guess that virtually no men get responses or first contact messages without pictures, while women may get some because there is always an abundance of desperate pervs looking for absolutely any woman to hit up.
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Post by awesomejoe73 on Jun 29, 2019 14:05:03 GMT
Don't they send dic pics?
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Post by Deleted on Jun 29, 2019 16:53:04 GMT
I never got one fortunately on pof. But I did find that men, if they posted profile pics at all, would only post photos of them many years younger, thus pretending they were younger looking than they really were. And in fact often I found in my age category, they also had a younger age in their profile than was the truth.
Granted men I met would tell me that women did the same thing, often posting pics from when they were thinner than they really were.
Guess when you try and sell yourself in an online dating catalogue competing with so many, there is a tendency to do anything to attract attention.
Never made sense to me to do that because if you did meet, surely everyone could see the discrepancies and then honesty is in question and I'd lose interest completely, as I imagine men would too.
Basically, the bait and switch tactic didn't work for me.
Never mind, without meeting someone before seeing a photo, it seems we project so much onto the photos and words and tend to build up an image of their personality too. But I found online personality often did not translate into real life personality. So I'd suggest meeting quickly before the online impressions could form a whole picture that was often based on my projections and not who they really were.
Guess these are all reasons why I found online dating did not work for me and I'd leave a meet or date telling myself never do it again, even if very occasionally a mini attraction that led to a mini relationship occurred that lasted about 4 months maximum.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 29, 2019 17:02:51 GMT
^^^Four months sounds just about right~
;-)
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Post by Deleted on Jun 30, 2019 13:11:28 GMT
The online thing never seemed to work for me, and honestly seems kinda bass-ackwards. Traditional dating was you'd meet someone in a social setting, somewhere you had a reason to be anyways, you weren't dealing with old/fake pictures, you knew knew there was physical attraction right away, you maybe chatted a bit so you could get a feel of their personality, get actual 'facial/body language' feedback, etc.
Online you really get none of that up front, you have to set up a meet, drive someplace you've probably got no other reason to be at, before you get any idea what they are really like.
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Post by awesomejoe73 on Jun 30, 2019 13:38:33 GMT
It worked for me. But I agree there is the potential for a lot of wasted time since you are moving backwards, so to speak. The advantage of online dating is that it is easier to connect with a potential person due to quantity and low risk. Obviously you don't suffer from approach rejection/anxiety from online dating (unless your that trucker guy who wants every gal ignoring him to write a message of reasons). Going to a crowded dating focused social event or place with singles( after work bar,etc) can be more time productive, if you can handle the rejection. For example, if I went to dance at the Copa Cabana I knew that I am going to meet someone. Even if I didn't do much I am going to dance or chat up a few gals. Most will go nowhere and/or flakes but at least one will end up in a date where we already passed the mutual attraction test.
But that meant a few hours wasted of drinking, dressing up, staying out late and some other possible undesirable stuff(fights). Online dating has less undesirable things leading up to the meeting but at a cost of time spent and going in blind..literally .
However, for most guys that just stand around holding up the wall at evening establishments, online dating might be better.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 30, 2019 13:42:30 GMT
I so agree with forums1 about the backward’ness of it all. Funny I wrote something similar to start the dating thread ‘online dating, to be or not to be.’
Yet you hear of many people it worked for. Go figure.
Ahh- writing same time so adding that’s great, joe! And good points why online dating could be better for some, especially if you’re not the go out on your own type person. I’m not, but honestly am busy and tend to need my own company when free, so dating has taken a back row back seat.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 30, 2019 14:01:48 GMT
you weren't dealing with old/fake pictures, you knew knew there was physical attraction right away, you maybe chatted a bit so you could get a feel of their personality, get actual 'facial/body language' feedback, etc. I never understood how so many people got duped by old pictures. Things like image quality and their (likely) outdated styles would have seemed like dead giveaways to me. I would have to blame myself if the woman in a Hootie and the Blowfish T-shirt and crimped hair managed to pull a fast one on me.
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Post by cbgb77 on Jun 30, 2019 15:18:37 GMT
When I started online dating in the late 90s there weren't even photos on most websites. I didn't even own a computer. Just had WebTV. Met my 2nd wife that way in 2002 on Yahoo Personals. She only had WebTV too!
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