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Post by bendingbough19 on Jun 22, 2019 20:22:49 GMT
I've heard of microdermabrasion, although not sure I fully understand what it is. I think of it as a sander on skin but no idea if that is completely off. I have never heard of laser lipo. I have heard of liposuction, which as I understand it is like a vacuuming of fat. I am sure that is rather a crude understanding. Is it liposuction with a laser? I have never been to a spa. The only MAC store I have seen here is in a mall and pretty much looks to be wall to wall teenage girls whenever I walk past. I keep walking :-). I cannot imagine how wonderful a few weeks in the wilderness would be. I used to love camping when I was with my spouse. Loved it. I think the longest we ever went for was a week. A few weeks would be heaven.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 22, 2019 20:32:07 GMT
A few weeks in a luxury hotel sounds good to me at this point in my life. Roughed it enough for a couple of lifetimes.
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Post by bendingbough19 on Jun 22, 2019 20:45:37 GMT
^^^ Hahaha, I hear you. Circumstances sometimes have me feeling like I am roughing it in my day-to-day life. I am not really but I have to remind myself not to use others around me as a reference point, otherwise it can seem that way. There is a lot of wealth here and my day-to-day contacts can seem heavy with stories about high-end renovations, frequent world travel (seriously, even money aside how many vacation days do people get?!!) and all kinds of personal maintenance I haven't a sweet clue about. Camping to me helps me feel like I am truly living in luxury - the luxury of no humans with whom I have to interact, and therefore no reference points ;-). I have always taken in stray/ pound animals. They always amaze me because despite their difficult pasts and current circumstances (e.g., one missing a leg, another missing an eye), they just keep on keeping on. They don't look at their "siblings" and fixate on why others have four legs and two eyes. They just get on with things. I aspire to more like them in attitude.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 22, 2019 21:20:36 GMT
Move out of Orlando. Orlando has to be 1 of the top "party locations in the US along with Vegas, Miami, and NYC. The city attracts a younger population and older from the suburbs to be entertained. Infact you don't even like heat why are you there? LOL(music careers in other places) I do indeed absolutely loathe the heat, but there are too many other pluses for me to consider moving. I live next to a nice lake and am only a block from a main road that stretches for miles, which has everything one could possibly ever need. Department stores, malls, restaurants, bars, etc. I've lived here the vast majority of my life, and familiarity is also hard to walk away from. As for introspective breaks from it all, I do take those from time to time, only to eventually feel like I'm wasting valuable time.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2019 0:24:56 GMT
Love camping, or used to as a child with my family. Took all six of us to put the heavy golden canvas large tent up. Loved waking up with the sunlight dancing on it and the birds singing. But when it rained, no matter how deep the trenches were my dad dug, we'd still wake up with wet edges of sleeping bags and pillows. Think I also loved the family time together, the camp fires, and the woods were safe in those days.
Would still love camping, but not on my own.
Luxury hotel would be nice to take a break too, but if going that route, would rather take a cruise to somewhere lovely so exploring wherever we dock is good too.
I've wondered about single cruises, but then the horror of Pig's dates puts me off the idea as I'm not much of a drinker at all and to be on a cruise where everyone's on the make doesn't sound like fun.
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Post by bendingbough19 on Jun 23, 2019 2:09:00 GMT
^^^ They should host single's cruises where everyone is single but no one wants a mate ;-). Seriously! I could handle that :-).
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2019 7:25:26 GMT
I've wondered about single cruises, but then the horror of Pig's dates puts me off the idea as I'm not much of a drinker at all and to be on a cruise where everyone's on the make doesn't sound like fun. For me, it's not the experiences themselves that are bad, it's the lack of moderation. Too much is simply too much.
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pfif
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Post by pfif on Jun 23, 2019 20:27:24 GMT
So, here's the thing:
Very few adults (of my age today, but back then) found new partners when I was a child, that I was aware of. There was none of this 'here is my new partner' at family gatherings, from people of that age. Ever.
That seemed like a California thing. ;) We were stern New Englanders, Yankees. Kind of a legacy to people such as the (those stern people in The Scarlet Letter). Not Victorians. I've simply forgotten who they were. (not the Pilgrims.)
• • •
So I didn't grow up expecting to enter this phase in life (this age group) looking for anything more than maybe an accidental sweetheart in the nursing home (if it got that far that I was in such a place) or something along those lines.
More or less situation-dependent, mutual, found luck and most importantly: a compromise (a significant compromise) in both of our standards, to bridge that gap, with a 'better than nothing' attitude towards the new partnership.
• • •
That's if it happened at all. This is (of course) out of band with a functioning marriage (it assumes I'm partnerless to even consider it) (I don't remember how often I thought about it, and expected to need a plan for it ;)
Also: I expected to die before the woman did, if I were married (which I expected to be). So I figured she'd be the one (whoever she was) to find a sweetheart in the nursing home, when she went there, some time after my demise.
This was all scenario-spinning, but those were my (vague) plans, then. :)
• • •
I lived at the YMCA for a while (in a dorm) and my neighbor was an old pensioner.
I asked him once 'you know .. what about a woman?' and he said (pretty much just as succinctly as I'm telling it here):
"Well, there was a girl, but then I joined the WPA, and when I got home again, she was married .. so I became a gardener."
• • •
That was his tagline to end the story: "So I became a gardener" and one look at him and you could tell he was very good at it and probably ran a country club's grounds for thirty years, or something along those lines (I did not ask).
The WPA is (of course) Works Progress Administration, and they built lots of things that are (I think) part of the USA infrastructure (even to this day).
I LOOK AROUND me and I don't see a lot of new partners being introduced to the branches of the family. It happens once in a while (and very often with one particular fellow, hah).
• • •
I did see one new couple form in their mid to late forties, and I didn't see a lot of walking on air. Whatever they held for one another was so private you could barely tell they were a couple. She was so closed down; I didn't know him well enough to say anything about him.
Still, I thought they would do well (mainly because, for who she was, to be open to him at all, I credited her for being open the rest of the way; the part hidden I'd never see. ;)
They were both attractive and healthy looking people, if that counts for anything. And, I believe, she was very (very) good with money (but not 'the' money in the relationship, and not 'not the' money, either).
I think they were both reasonably well-heeled and a good match, money-wise. Not rich people; determined middle class who kept a nose to a grindstone; constant and forward-looking.
Good people. ;) ____________ lost tribe was: the Puritans
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2019 20:39:05 GMT
Never assume anything about other people's relationships.
If you are writing a novel, fine. Otherwise its just your own projected fiction.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2019 22:15:44 GMT
It's different for every family I think (and I grew up mostly in New England too). Of my three brothers, one is on his third marriage for many years now and really happy. It's a good relationship for them. My other brother has been in a wonderful significant relationship for about 10 years following 25 years of marriage. We all get along and I love his girlfriend very much, as well as his ex wife who still comes to our family gatherings. My youngest brother is gay and been married to the same person for many years ...my beloved brother in law.
A couple of years ago I looked at my brothers and did wonder, gosh they all found their perfect partners now, two following long marriages. So when is it my turn? But that feeling eased with realizing I'm honestly not looking since I'm happily single... at least for now. Not to say I'm not open to it shifting again, but happy in my present life without another significant person.
Adding I am aware, though, the longer I go on comfy in my own life without compromising like you have to do when in a relationship, the less likely I will be able to fit another person into my life, space even part-time, heart. Yet I do not wish to grow old without having special companionship with a special person. So.... it's a bit of a conundrum to be honest, so I'm waiting to retire hopefully in a few years to address it again. But then deep down I have a fear if I get much older and start looking much older, I won't be able to attract anyone, but if they're just attracted to the superficial exterior, that won't work either.
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Post by bendingbough19 on Jun 23, 2019 22:36:03 GMT
Well I think I could have done the relationship thing in my 40s and really did give it a try a couple of times. In my 50s, not so much. I'm just too... everything now. I have no idea why my 40s seem so very far away but they do. They might as well be my 20s. I mostly regret ever having tried to have a relationship with a significant other at any point during my life. They produced nothing I ultimately ended up pleased about in the end and I truly feel like I wasted decades trying to win a losing battle. I sometimes wonder what I could have achieved if I had put equal effort into my career.
I do miss touch though. I didn't recognize this until recently. I recently changed the building I work in, and hence, the people I work with. There are two men who have touched me since starting there. Yes, I actually remember each instance, clearly. Each of them put their hand on my back. Each time, especially the first time, I very nearly had a skip in my breathing because I realized with quite a start that no one ever touches me anymore, ever. Quite a realization.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2019 23:03:22 GMT
Touch is a big deal. Massage, hair salon, pedicures go a long way to filling the gap.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2019 23:11:12 GMT
^ Yup. Platonic touch goes a long way. I hug. I hug my cat, my son, my friends, my lady's mom, my dancer friends every rehearsal and every class. Real hugs. And my job means lots of touch to care for my lady. Another way to get touch in your life is become a masseuse too. I found when I gave treatments, it also satisfied my need to be touched.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 24, 2019 1:39:38 GMT
I’m sorry, bendingbough19 , you feel wasted years with your trying to have relationships. I have some regret for choices I made that were not so wise too in not listening to my deepest truth. Yet I also trust I had to experience what I did to understand me and others better. Guess I’m trying to say I am grateful for the journey I took with love ultimately, and I’m still on it, for it’s the journey of my life.
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Post by cbgb77 on Jun 24, 2019 3:40:21 GMT
It's different for every family I think (and I grew up mostly in New England too). So many of us former New Englanders here. I love New England!
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