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Post by cbgb77 on Oct 15, 2019 14:46:24 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 15, 2019 17:02:20 GMT
So she's basically saying that equality/feminism hasn't made women happier? Research has already come to that conclusion.
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Post by igorfrankensteen on Oct 15, 2019 23:14:56 GMT
So she's basically saying that equality/feminism hasn't made women happier? Research has already come to that conclusion. Just venting your prejudices, I see. You obviously didn't read the article.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 16, 2019 1:01:54 GMT
All I read was griping about online dating, not being able to find "love", and how overall "unsatisfying" it all is (except a drug primed orgy at Burning Man, apparently - that says a lot to me).
I'm not impressed at long winded articles about someone's frustrated love life. "1000 words of whine" is not my cup of tea.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 16, 2019 10:14:52 GMT
I don't have time to read a lengthy article on the matter and it's probably not necessary, anyway. I believe we could all throw out some theories and not one of them would necessarily be wrong.
I never had any issues with dating sites, but then again, I wasn't looking for "love" per se, either. If I were to speculate on what one of the biggest factors might be, I would say the paradox of too many options.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 19, 2019 17:04:17 GMT
If I were to speculate on what one of the biggest factors might be, I would say the paradox of too many options. I think you hit the nail on the head.
I've pretty much knocked the apps on the head. I'm of out for a few tonight a cheap pub for a few ales then of to a pub where I met 2 lasses a fortnight ago, but made sure to ask when next time they be there as they got kiddo's. We had a decent natter last time as opposed to the last 15 Woman I've spoke to on POF ain't had the grey matter to ask 1 single question. They chat as long as I do, but zero effort. All about themselves.
I could only imagine the effort they shine upon a relationship ;/
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Post by Deleted on Oct 20, 2019 5:27:16 GMT
If I were to speculate on what one of the biggest factors might be, I would say the paradox of too many options. I think you hit the nail on the head.
I've pretty much knocked the apps on the head. I'm of out for a few tonight a cheap pub for a few ales then of to a pub where I met 2 lasses a fortnight ago, but made sure to ask when next time they be there as they got kiddo's. We had a decent natter last time as opposed to the last 15 Woman I've spoke to on POF ain't had the grey matter to ask 1 single question. They chat as long as I do, but zero effort. All about themselves.
I could only imagine the effort they shine upon a relationship ;/
I think it's rather difficult to deny, and funny enough, you probably won't find many people who will acknowledge their own susceptibility to having too many options. I fully admit to it even with things that don't pertain to dating. At this point in my life, I have the best musical gear on the market. I own multiple synths with over 20,000 sounds each, and I find myself wasting so much time trying to find just the right ones to use or layer at the expense of my productivity.
Having too many options can cause an enormous amount of anxiety and endless second guessing. Those from the POF forums might remember the infamous women who claimed to have gone on hundreds of dates in a single year, yet couldn't find one suitable man.
I never bought it for a second. They either lied about the number of men or they simply refused to see it through with just one man out of fear that "the absolute best" was yet to come.
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Post by cbgb77 on Oct 20, 2019 15:19:37 GMT
I think you hit the nail on the head.
I've pretty much knocked the apps on the head. I'm of out for a few tonight a cheap pub for a few ales then of to a pub where I met 2 lasses a fortnight ago, but made sure to ask when next time they be there as they got kiddo's. We had a decent natter last time as opposed to the last 15 Woman I've spoke to on POF ain't had the grey matter to ask 1 single question. They chat as long as I do, but zero effort. All about themselves.
I could only imagine the effort they shine upon a relationship ;/
I think it's rather difficult to deny, and funny enough, you probably won't find many people who will acknowledge their own susceptibility to having too many options. I fully admit to it even with things that don't pertain to dating. At this point in my life, I have the best musical gear on the market. I own multiple synths with over 20,000 sounds each, and I find myself wasting so much time trying to find just the right ones to use or layer at the expense of my productivity.
My girlfriend has an Akai AX80 synth
Sounds like Liquid Sky
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Post by Behind Blue Eyes on Oct 20, 2019 23:51:51 GMT
I think it's rather difficult to deny, and funny enough, you probably won't find many people who will acknowledge their own susceptibility to having too many options. I fully admit to it even with things that don't pertain to dating. At this point in my life, I have the best musical gear on the market. I own multiple synths with over 20,000 sounds each, and I find myself wasting so much time trying to find just the right ones to use or layer at the expense of my productivity.
The dreaded G.A.S., Gear Acquisition Syndrome. I think at some point most musicians fall for it... I could get rid of 1/2 to 3/4s of my electric Bass gear and never miss it. But it's all paid for and I would just spend the money of something else I didn't need.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 21, 2019 0:40:09 GMT
I said this years ago on POF so I'll say it again here. Dating apps give the feeling of look, see, order and it's delivered. Both men and women forget that those looking is as real as they. Dating apps aren't catalog shopping.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 21, 2019 4:08:26 GMT
I think it's rather difficult to deny, and funny enough, you probably won't find many people who will acknowledge their own susceptibility to having too many options. I fully admit to it even with things that don't pertain to dating. At this point in my life, I have the best musical gear on the market. I own multiple synths with over 20,000 sounds each, and I find myself wasting so much time trying to find just the right ones to use or layer at the expense of my productivity.
The dreaded G.A.S., Gear Acquisition Syndrome. I think at some point most musicians fall for it... I could get rid of 1/2 to 3/4s of my electric Bass gear and never miss it. But it's all paid for and I would just spend the money of something else I didn't need. I've been fairly good about not racking up too many guitars and have gotten rid of quite a few over the years. I'm down to six now and have them all in different tunings. The only one I regret selling is an old Yamaha 12-string acoustic.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 21, 2019 4:11:18 GMT
Dating apps aren't catalog shopping. They shouldn't be, but that's essentially what they are. It's something that can be easily fixed by human beings, but I don't believe it ever will.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 23, 2019 19:57:06 GMT
I think you hit the nail on the head.
I've pretty much knocked the apps on the head. I'm of out for a few tonight a cheap pub for a few ales then of to a pub where I met 2 lasses a fortnight ago, but made sure to ask when next time they be there as they got kiddo's. We had a decent natter last time as opposed to the last 15 Woman I've spoke to on POF ain't had the grey matter to ask 1 single question. They chat as long as I do, but zero effort. All about themselves.
I could only imagine the effort they shine upon a relationship ;/
I think it's rather difficult to deny, and funny enough, you probably won't find many people who will acknowledge their own susceptibility to having too many options. I fully admit to it even with things that don't pertain to dating. At this point in my life, I have the best musical gear on the market. I own multiple synths with over 20,000 sounds each, and I find myself wasting so much time trying to find just the right ones to use or layer at the expense of my productivity.
Having too many options can cause an enormous amount of anxiety and endless second guessing. Those from the POF forums might remember the infamous women who claimed to have gone on hundreds of dates in a single year, yet couldn't find one suitable man.
I never bought it for a second. They either lied about the number of men or they simply refused to see it through with just one man out of fear that "the absolute best" was yet to come. Regarding options, absolutely. There is too much choice. I've done the second guessing thing.
As for that Woman on POF on 100's of dates. I'm calling bullshit. Only in her own head.
Those Ladies weren't about the other night, but I've ended up talking to a Woman on POF the last couple of days. So much for knocking them apps on the head.
We will see how it goes. We do have things in common so its an ok start.
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Post by bendingbough19 on Oct 24, 2019 15:04:34 GMT
I agree with the paradox of too many options as well as how the whole app thing seems to lead to a catalogue mentality. I just read a quote from Harvard Business Review pertaining to other subject matter, but it resonates with what I see as part of the problem with dating apps: "Enjoyment fades. Meaning lasts." It seems like many have fallen into the trap of always trying to trade up or at least trade in for something novel. I see this in many colleagues and acquaintances with shopping habits and I believe the mentality eventually bleeds into one's approach to relationships. That's my two cent perspective at least.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 24, 2019 19:25:08 GMT
Well scrap that whole wait n see how it goes.
When conversation end up one sided then I say next. 3 billion women. When you ask how has your day treated you and then get a reply then you ask are you at the gym or zumba tonight and get a reply and no reciprocal conversation and this is been followed by so many short replies prior I say go fuck yourself.
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