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Post by cbgb77 on Jul 8, 2019 14:08:23 GMT
This one of my threads from the POF forum that still has relevance for me and maybe some other here also:
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Post by Deleted on Jul 8, 2019 21:25:34 GMT
I think most people know if they do or do not want to cohabit with 'any' other person. And for those who 'do' want to, it's just a matter of finding the right 'who'---I don't think there is a time frame of how long you should 'date' before making the move~
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Post by Deleted on Jul 8, 2019 21:37:06 GMT
At the very least, 100 years.
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Post by cbgb77 on Jul 8, 2019 23:55:09 GMT
At the very least, 100 years.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 9, 2019 18:44:54 GMT
^ I knew my ex husband 8 months before I moved countries and in with him, but we only had 2 stints of a few days together in that time because we were living in separate countries. My other part time cohabitant was instant attraction, so we spent weekends together for 1.5 years at his place before he started spending half the week with me for the next 4.5 years. The only other person I lived with for just 2 months in college and then 4 months many years later I knew all my life and we always fancied each other, even as children. Think our little live-in's were fantasy playing out as adults and eased the infatuation. Guess I don't really fall into the 'survey says how long to date first' category at all as I didn't really date any of them.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 10, 2019 10:31:17 GMT
I would sodomize myself with a curling iron before I'd ever live with a woman again.
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Post by awesomejoe73 on Jul 10, 2019 19:22:00 GMT
^^^Any women or just NewYorker58?
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Post by Deleted on Jul 10, 2019 19:28:15 GMT
I wouldn't even live in the same state as that woman.
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Post by awesomejoe73 on Jul 10, 2019 20:43:28 GMT
^^^Me neither! Thank god she moved out of here to the West coast!
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Post by cbgb77 on Jul 10, 2019 21:54:09 GMT
I like her.
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Post by igorfrankensteen on Jul 21, 2019 16:33:30 GMT
I would sodomize myself with a curling iron before I'd ever live with a woman again. Just to be clear: is sodomizing yourself with a soldering iron something you DO, or DO NOT care for? I only ask, because I have known a rather wide variety of unique people.
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Post by igorfrankensteen on Jul 21, 2019 16:42:28 GMT
I suppose this is another of those "it depends on which size picture you're looking at " things.
Also an age thing, perhaps.
What I mean is, that deciding to live together at some ages, is a LOT more of a challenge than doing so at other ages.
The biggest thing I remember running into as a consideration the last time I did it (for twenty years), was that the house wasn't big enough for her and I to have spaces that we each entirely controlled. Well, that's not true, it was big enough for ME, just not for HER. Anyway, that meant that everything in the entire house eventually had to be arranged to please ONE person and not the other.
SOme people try to solve this by having a house where no one is pleased, but everyone is tolerant.
Anyway, age comes into play, because how much control over personal space someone expects to have, seems to be linked to the various ways each person sees the future, and sees what their life is about. And that seems to vary a lot by age.
All that vast sea of blather adds up to, that I think logically, that people should take as much time to decide whether to live together, as is required to size up who gets to have how much say in what kind of day to day stuff each one cares about. Such as to figure out whether one is a clean freak, and the other is intent on a certain amount of disarray to feel "at home," for example.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 21, 2019 19:30:27 GMT
^^^I agree with the above.
I'm comfortable with a certain amount of disarray. Someone following me around with a rag in hand and scolding me if I have not 'kept my room clean' (you are not my mom, even mom did not do that!) No thanks~
I do enjoy living n a clean space but would rather hire someone if need be than have my partner be a nag about it~
As far as 'how long'? IDK. Some people might claim while dating 'I love you, no matter what' and then you share a space and it might turn into 'I love you, But...'
hahahaha
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Post by Stumour on Jul 21, 2019 19:57:53 GMT
I lived with my ex after knowing her for just a few months.... we got wed then it went ape shit.... fond memories
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Post by igorfrankensteen on Jul 21, 2019 23:22:42 GMT
Stumour: I don't know if you meant it that way or not, but it's something I've seen MANY times, that a couple get along just fine, sometimes even for YEARS...
...and then get married.
And BECAUSE they got married, and what marriage meant to one or both of them, all sorts of things that they found tolerable about the other one, suddenly became huge problems.
I think it has to do with those programmed expectations people often have, many of which they aren't even aware of.
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