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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2019 17:05:51 GMT
In many cases, it's nothing more than virtue signaling at its finest. A way of saying "I'm not like the others". For the most part, if it's a guy that pushes just the right buttons, rules tend to go right out the window.
I lived in the Sierras for a while and those areas had a thriving night life scene.
I could probably live with that, but small country towns with zero activity and everyone knows each other's business?? No way. I have family that lives in a town in Alabama where the nearest store is 20 minutes away. That would be unbearable for me. With where you live. The night life in Truckee or Soda Springs, would be like St Pete Beach or Treasure Island. In the hick parts of the SF bay area, those bars were like the bars in the mountain ski areas out here. There was a bar in La Honda California called Apple Jacks. I bet you would have fit right in there. Our band would play gigs there and it was a hoot. As much as I enjoy the dating advantages of Orlando, I love love love the Tampa/St. Pete area. There's a lot more "alternative" entertainment there, while we have much more family-oriented tourist stuff.
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Post by bendingbough19 on Dec 30, 2019 17:06:46 GMT
^^^ Sorry forums, I didn't quote correctly and my post ended up in the green section, along with yours.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 1, 2020 3:52:38 GMT
"If you are real then choose fuck me"
~ *Sigh* If only dating site profiles had a "fuck me" button to click...certainly would save a lotta wasted time.
"The pictures on the profile was that of a young black woman"
~ So the scammers have accurately analyzed your click history and detected that you favor, and likely have clicked on black womens' profiles disproportionately..and targeted your tendencies. Hmmm...I'd be creeped out dude. lol
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Post by Deleted on Jan 1, 2020 4:07:34 GMT
Julystorm wrote - "makes me think there's something wrong with me I can't change, maybe my ears are too big or my neck is weird or something."
~ So, I digitally blew up your picture, and used some proprietary software to measure your features...and indeed, you are correct. Your ears aren't too big, but your right ear is precisely 2mm larger than your left, and it's also 3mm lower than your right ear. That ear imbalance does likely disqualify you from attracting the men you want. And moving on to your neck. More bad news, so either make an appointment with a plastic surgeon, or .....
Yes, I'm only kidding here. But hoping to make a point. I've seen your pix and read your comments for awhile. You should be having much more success in attracting the men you want. You need to work on.......YOU. As someone posted above, confidence makes someone much more attractive. I think you need to worry about things that improve your self esteem and confidence. Whatever that is.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 1, 2020 4:26:01 GMT
Behind Blue Eyes wrote: "OK, after I read your post I went in the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I'm 66 and don't have many wrinkles on my face at all. I have known others who had much more 30 years younger, because they didn't wear sunglasses out doors. My last GF was 65 and didn't have many wrinkles either. I have locked at profiles of younger women who looked much older do to too much sun exposure during their lives. Add in as a Red Head, my hair has turned more blond than white, I can look younger than my real age. I see many profiles, their face doesn't look that old, but their upper chest shows how many years they were out tanning.
I learned by my 20s, that with my red hair and fair skin, the sun was not my friend and to cover up as much as I could. The biggest thing that gives my age away now, is my neck. I have been able to cut 10-15 years off my age most my life, depending what I was wearing. "
LOL I consider myself very lucky in that I've done a lotta drinkin', a lotta smokin', a lotta..um..substances...and yes, a lotta sun soakin'....and while I could never pass for 10-15 years younger even if I wore skinny jeans, covered myself with tattoos and got one of those hideous earlobe stretching ornaments ...I'm not a total trainwreck healthwise or in appearance. I've done plenty of abuse, but have always eaten well, been active and kept physically fit.
And in my old age, I've definitely slowed down on all that stuff. But they ain't takin' my sun rays from me.
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Post by julystorm22 on Jan 6, 2020 1:41:10 GMT
Yuck, I can't stand those hideous earlobe-stretching ornaments. I even put that in my profile at one point because I kept getting messages from guys with those.
So my brief week of POF ended without results. I had a couple possibilities but no one that really interested me except one, the guy with 5 kids. But that guy I think had someone else he was talking to because he quit messaging me which is kinda strange because he did seem into me...and then my New Year's hookup from last year started messaging me, I messaged back a couple times just to be polite but I quit seeing him last year because the truth is I'm just not that into him and he seemed to be really into me, still seems that way. He would have been okay as a friend and someone to occasionally tryst with but I think he wants a lot more from me and he's too nice of a guy to attempt to try seeing a third time and likely dump so now I haven't logged back on because I don't want to see his messages and I feel too bad blocking him. Sigh...maybe I'll try POF again on Easter break.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 16, 2020 11:22:59 GMT
New Year's had a crazy impulse to have a wee look in the pond to see if anyone interesting had appeared since it's been years since I looked or met anyone from there. My profile is hidden and I've had no interest, nor time, these last few years to consider developing or bringing a special romantic someone into my life. I also had a relationship for 2 plus years with someone I knew superficially in person and I wisely ended it three years ago because it turned out he really wasn't good for me.... so have not had any desire to test the waters again.
But for some reason discussions here on the site inspired me to take a peak and very quickly someone 45 minutes away and I decided to meet after a couple of quick written exchanges. Nice guy. Met for coffee and a walk on the canal and talked for a bit more before kissing and parting. The kisses were not long and romantic, but enough for us both to feel another date would be nice. Open for more discussion is how we left it, so nothing planned as we both were still nervous and there was no pressure.
We had a few more texts within a day or two and I suddenly remembered to ask him if he was allergic to cats. I used to remember to ask that as soon as any mutual written communication was happening in the pond, but it's been years, as I said, and I forgot. Mind you I have a photo with me and a close-up with my cat on my profile and it says I have a cat in my profile too.
Well, turns out this guy not only is allergic to cats, but for some cats he gets a serious anaphylactic reaction to the oils in their fur. So, that was that. Never heard from him again. Honestly didn't mind because I didn't feel super strong chemistry with him, but there was a little potential, which is more than 99% of the people I ever met in the pond.
And this is why I don't delve in the pond. Had my little whim and meet this year and that's enough for me because it's not something I really need nor want now, but it satisfied my curiousity and so wasn't a total waste I guess.
It did also confirm I think anyone I might get romantic with now or in the future is someone I am going to meet the traditional way of in person first and develop from there, knowing there is already a connection to start.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 16, 2020 19:40:19 GMT
It's good to gauge where you are at. However, It would concern me about the guy suffering simple cell. Hi, I'm allergic to cats so I'll go date and meet and waste the time of the one holding a cat in her pic.
I logged in the other day and have replied to a message from a lass. But, She hasn't been on in days and I'm not really all that arsed if she replies back.
Part of me thinks it be great to have someone around. But the majority of me is why in hell would you do that lol.
Like now I'm off to apply for some jobs as temp work isn't ideal, then once done, the rest of the evening is mine
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Post by Deleted on Jan 16, 2020 21:53:49 GMT
^ Yup. Think what would be ideal is once a month you meet up for some fun outing and romance, and have no contact the rest of the time!
Trouble is feelings start growing naturally if there’s a good connection, so then I find it really hard to keep things balanced and attachment free.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 17, 2020 1:49:51 GMT
^ Yup. Think what would be ideal is once a month you meet up for some fun outing and romance, and have no contact the rest of the time! Trouble is feelings start growing naturally if there’s a good connection, so then I find it really hard to keep things balanced and attachment free. Yup, Those pesky feelings.
I'd be ok at once a week contact. But, Anytime I give my number out or seeing someone its like they want to chat constantly and I really can't be bothered with that. I feel pestered to death.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 17, 2020 2:31:14 GMT
^ Yup. Think what would be ideal is once a month you meet up for some fun outing and romance, and have no contact the rest of the time! Trouble is feelings start growing naturally if there’s a good connection, so then I find it really hard to keep things balanced and attachment free. Yup, Those pesky feelings.
I'd be ok at once a week contact. But, Anytime I give my number out or seeing someone its like they want to chat constantly and I really can't be bothered with that. I feel pestered to death.
That desire to chat is often nothing more than a big shit test many men fail miserably. When a guy first meets a woman, he should not engage in any texting other than to make plans to meet up. Many guys think to themselves "but I've got to keep myself in her mind or she'll forget me!!"
No. She's gauging to see whether the guy has a life or not. If he gives into her desire to heavily communicate early on, it's very likely not going to end well. Sending the message of "baby, you're all I got!!" is the dumbest thing a guy can do.
My younger cousins changed their entire dating lives by putting an end to the lengthy text ping pong matches.
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Post by cooldog65 on Jan 17, 2020 4:13:33 GMT
Yup, Those pesky feelings.
I'd be ok at once a week contact. But, Anytime I give my number out or seeing someone its like they want to chat constantly and I really can't be bothered with that. I feel pestered to death.
That desire to chat is often nothing more than a big shit test many men fail miserably. When a guy first meets a woman, he should not engage in any texting other than to make plans to meet up. Many guys think to themselves "but I've got to keep myself in her mind or she'll forget me!!"
No. She's gauging to see whether the guy has a life or not. If he gives into her desire to heavily communicate early on, it's very likely not going to end well. Sending the message of "baby, you're all I got!!" is the dumbest thing a guy can do.
My younger cousins changed their entire dating lives by putting an end to the lengthy text ping pong matches. In the past, I've been guilty of the keeping myself in her mind bullshit. It probably made me look pretty clingy. I'm referring to phone calls, not texting. I would get worried if there wasn't at least a call daily.
The constant texting is like an electronic leash.
Thankfully, I've changed since my last relationship ended about 7 years ago. I've pretty much stopped giving a shit.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 17, 2020 4:43:00 GMT
That desire to chat is often nothing more than a big shit test many men fail miserably. When a guy first meets a woman, he should not engage in any texting other than to make plans to meet up. Many guys think to themselves "but I've got to keep myself in her mind or she'll forget me!!"
No. She's gauging to see whether the guy has a life or not. If he gives into her desire to heavily communicate early on, it's very likely not going to end well. Sending the message of "baby, you're all I got!!" is the dumbest thing a guy can do.
My younger cousins changed their entire dating lives by putting an end to the lengthy text ping pong matches. In the past, I've been guilty of the keeping myself in her mind bullshit. It probably made me look pretty clingy. I'm referring to phone calls, not texting. I would get worried if there wasn't at least a call daily.
The constant texting is like an electronic leash.
Thankfully, I've changed since my last relationship ended about 7 years ago. I've pretty much stopped giving a shit.
The dumbest thing about texting is that an hour's worth of texting can be spoken in a matter of 5 minutes. It's just a colossal waste of time.
I remember on the old forums, new guys that had hot prospects would show up with the "we texted all the time, and she just disappeared!! What happened?!?!" posts. They were a dime a dozen, and anytime I'd advised these guys not to get sucked into that shit test, NewYorker would chime in telling me I was wrong.
Yeah, I was wrong, yet every one of these guys who failed did the opposite of what they should have done.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 17, 2020 18:04:03 GMT
Yup, Those pesky feelings.
I'd be ok at once a week contact. But, Anytime I give my number out or seeing someone its like they want to chat constantly and I really can't be bothered with that. I feel pestered to death.
That desire to chat is often nothing more than a big shit test many men fail miserably. When a guy first meets a woman, he should not engage in any texting other than to make plans to meet up. Many guys think to themselves "but I've got to keep myself in her mind or she'll forget me!!"
No. She's gauging to see whether the guy has a life or not. If he gives into her desire to heavily communicate early on, it's very likely not going to end well. Sending the message of "baby, you're all I got!!" is the dumbest thing a guy can do.
My younger cousins changed their entire dating lives by putting an end to the lengthy text ping pong matches. I'm not one to send those baby, you all I got messages. I can't even be bothered contacting Women at all now. It's a resource drain and that resource is my time. You can't get that back.
I've been accused on text by a stupid Woman accusing me of being out for one thing. I got her to see her errors in the end as I played with her a bit while getting drunk for my amusement. I didn't like that she was looking for that in me and trying tomake me look that way. All I said is you're a cheeky one to a comment she made. I think she must've had special needs or something.
Ah well. She got told once she seen her ways and realised she was wrong. I was far from nice about it.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 18, 2020 0:46:15 GMT
I find the problem with too much texting, besides the time it takes, is it seems to lead to the two extremes of attachment or detachment, and often each person might go in opposite directions on the attachment spectrum.
Once upon a time we had no cell phones and without so much instant written contact meant anticipation could build for the next meeting with both people, not constant affirmation of interest, which eventually gets old for everybody in my opinion.
And if not, then a dependence can appear which also will often sabotage the chance of a good relationship growing.
Never mind how many times have written words been misunderstood that would not have been if spoken?
With a generation of people now writing and reading messages more than talking in person, I wonder how much more impersonal are we going to get?
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