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Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2019 2:17:22 GMT
^^^ Oh, I know you weren't disparaging anyone. I can't say the same for a few others who posted at that other forum, however.
A thread on "artificial accoutrements" could be entertaining. There might even be cake.
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Post by cooldog65 on Jun 7, 2019 2:26:16 GMT
^^^ Oh, I know you weren't disparaging anyone. I can't say the same for a few others who posted at that other forum, however. A thread on "artificial accoutrements" could be entertaining. There might even be cake. Keeper of the "golden egg" comes to mind...
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Post by cooldog65 on Jun 7, 2019 4:40:01 GMT
^^^ Oh, I know you weren't disparaging anyone. I can't say the same for a few others who posted at that other forum, however. A thread on "artificial accoutrements" could be entertaining. There might even be cake. Keeper of the "golden egg" comes to mind... Or was it guardian/gatekeeper of the egg or golden vajayjay?
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Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2019 12:34:58 GMT
awesomejoe73 , you wrote quite a few thought provoking points that illustrate geography and customs of each country makes such a difference, never mind customs of different areas of each country. Here on Cape Cod it's so casual, most women have clothes filling closets from living elsewhere never worn here, even to go out on dates or to the theatre. Then there are individuals everywhere who choose not to follow the norm, so even though getting 'mani and pedi's' (manicures and pedicures) are popular even here, I don't do that. If I want to polish my nails, I do them myself the old fashioned and very inexpensive way. You're right imo about makeup...I don't put makeup on to impress other women, or even men, but for me (and never gobs at all, but a little to enhance). But as I've gotten older, I've come to realise it's not needed as a necessity to go out, so I wear it much less often, but still do when I want to look and feel pretty and it's a form of self pampering really. Cologne... you say no men wear it were it not for women, or whatever gender they prefer... I'm afraid my younger son is the exception to that. He's only 25, but has been wearing cologne for years because he likes it. And he wears good stuff too that I can totally appreciate since I think mens' colognes are far more lovely smelling than womens'. I also find my son and his friends here ... the young people in general here aren't grungy, but look very nice in clothes that fit well and are attractive. And they dress like this, not just for dates, but when they're out of the house. Again, that could be geographical, or maybe once they hit 20's and up, they see themselves in a different light and grunge isn't in any more, though neither of my sons went through grunge stage here or in England and we're not a posh family. Got sortof off topic to who pays... so to sum up the above points, guess each of us chooses what we spend our money on and how we feel best in ourselves. My dates these days are not with men, but with women friends and we share the cost, or one will pay one time, the other the next time. It is not an issue at all, as I wish it was like that in the dating world. Think it's easier when everyone comes prepared to pay for themselves, as I did when I had dates with men. It just feels wrong to me not to, but that's me and maybe comes from being self sufficient and the only provider for my children for many years, so it's automatic for me to prepare to pay for myself. And the men appreciated it, even if they insisted they pay, think they could tell I was sincere and they seemed grateful I was self sufficient too. I got the impression it made a pleasant change for them.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2019 12:50:13 GMT
vesuvia, if a woman has more self-confidence when she gets all "dolled up", that's fine. She just shouldn't disparage those women who are secure with their looks, and don't feel the need to use a bunch of artificial accoutrements to make themselves feel more attractive. Totally agree. Think we are saying the same things in a different way.
We all want to look Pretty.
Not disparaging anyone.
Maybe a new thread on 'artificial accoutrements', get some real life feed back on how/if/ etc they work?
I agree too, and each to his or her own and disparaging anyone for their choices isn't fun for anyone (and grateful no one's doing here). Only thing is, it seems if you started a thread like that, not sure how many women posting here now use a lot of artificial accoutrements and then the question comes to my mind re: if they work.. work for what purpose?
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Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2019 14:31:50 GMT
Keeper of the "golden egg" comes to mind... Or was it guardian/gatekeeper of the egg or golden vajayjay? No cooldog, you got it wrong. It was "Wearer of the golden wig".
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Post by Deleted on Jun 10, 2019 18:38:40 GMT
Keeper of the "golden egg" comes to mind... Or was it guardian/gatekeeper of the egg or golden vajayjay? Blonde Angel?? She couldn't give that shit away in a men's prison if it came with a full pardon.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 16, 2019 11:24:19 GMT
I was always taught that who invites should pay/offer to pay, but its all relative to each situation which is different.
I don't get why people get so upset over who pays.Why cant 2 people decide what to do and discuss it?
I may doll up or not..depends if we are on a fishing date or going out on the town.
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Post by igorfrankensteen on Sept 16, 2019 12:40:41 GMT
I think the real problems come up with WHY people decide who should pay for things. Lots of implied obligations and exchanges involved.
Most of the fights I see people have, and that I've had to deal with, were over those reasons why, not because of the money.
I like PP's take, that whoever invites should pay, unless agreed upon during the invitation. But there still needs to be a recognition on both peoples' parts of why they are doing whatever they do about this.
After all, there's a deep history of males hanging on to the old idea that they should pay if they ask for a date, HOWEVER, they also quietly attach to that, that they expect the opposite number to perform a variety of "tasks" as their end of the "deal."
Like that guy in the other thread in GB, who wanted his first date drink money back, because she said no to the second.
The only "solution" I've managed to come up with about such things, is that I decided not to give a damn who pays, and part of making that possible, is that I decide in advance, that I am only spending money that I don't care about. I'm not INVESTING in the other person, or in a relationship, or even in some kind of half-idea that I'm showing off.
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Post by julystorm22 on Nov 25, 2019 5:52:46 GMT
If I don't think I will see the guy again, I insist on paying. And if a guy doesn't at least offer to pay for me, I kind of lose attraction for him. I want to feel like a guy cares about taking care of me.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 25, 2019 7:30:48 GMT
If I don't think I will see the guy again, I insist on paying. And if a guy doesn't at least offer to pay for me, I kind of lose attraction for him. I want to feel like a guy cares about taking care of me. Ok, and what is a woman obligated to do on a first date to show she's interesting in "taking care of" him?
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Post by Deleted on Nov 25, 2019 13:40:09 GMT
^^^"Gettin' some gettin' jiggy just for fun"?
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Post by julystorm22 on Nov 25, 2019 16:49:41 GMT
Oh, I've taken care of guys. I'm a little bit too caring though. I went on a first date with a "nice guy" two years ago and he took me out to this pricier restaurant. I wish he hadn't taken me there. I knew from the offset of meeting him that I was not attracted to him whatsoever but after he would not let me pay for myself, I felt guilty about him paying so much for me plus he was kind, considerate, opened doors for me and stuff and I felt awful about not liking him. So I slept with him. Bad sex, wish I hadn't. I wish he'd been a jerk so I'd have been able to vamoose but I couldn't do that. I have a really hard time rejecting someone.
I am incredibly uncomfortable going to a nicer restaurant on a date. I'm not used to nicer things. My ex treated me absolutely horribly and now it's like when a guy is even a little nice to me I am so grateful. Being lonely for companionship and craving kindness from a guy are recipes for disaster. So after that situation, if I went on a first "date" with someone, I would insist that it's just a meetup, not a date, and there would be no meals happening so I could avoid the paying scenario. To me, it just seems that if a guy pays, it's like he's putting money down on a claim to you. And if I like a guy, I have no problem with that.
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Post by hibbiejim on Nov 25, 2019 17:03:54 GMT
For me it depends what graft I've had and how much spare shekels there are.
I'm apparently quite generous but have the capacity to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory when I get bladdered.
But if and when I have money it's there for spending.
So I'm quite happy to pay for everything.
But it's nice to come back from the bog to find a nice pint of stella awaiting me.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 28, 2019 8:26:37 GMT
Still bumbling through with your inadequate social skills I see July 😂 Can you buy Stella in cans vlad? If so I’ll get a fridge full, take a pic and tease you with it 😂
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