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Post by Stumour on Feb 13, 2019 14:53:47 GMT
Ye need tae eat shortbread washed doon wi Irn Bru before reading these if ye urnae a Scot....
A pregnant teenage girl phones her dad at midnight and says:
'Can you come and get me? I think ma water has broken.
'Okay,' says her dad. 'Where are you ringing fae?'
'Fae ma knickers tae ma feet.'
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Post by Stumour on Feb 14, 2019 0:12:50 GMT
After announcing he's getting married, a boy tells his pal he'll be wearing
the kilt.
'And what's the tartan?' asks his mate.
'Oh, she'll be wearing a white dress,'
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Post by Stumour on Feb 17, 2019 6:19:02 GMT
We all know two negatives make a positive, don't we? Aye, right!
see.... 2 positives can make a negative!
Other daftness of Scots... "Ah'll take ma haun aff yer erse" means the opposite as in to deliver a skelp to the bahookie.... calm down n stop blushing at the thought.... you know who I mean
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Post by Stumour on Feb 18, 2019 5:38:09 GMT
A Glasgow man - steaming and skint - is walking down Argyle Street when he
spots a guy tinkering with the engine of his car.
'What's up Jimmy?' he asks.
'Piston broke,' he replies.
Aye, same as masel.
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