Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 3, 2019 17:05:50 GMT
For me, I think my major problem is I just can't believe someone will actually like me. If I find someone I really like I end things out of fear of rejection. I need to be able to just be brave and deal with it if it comes. I don't want to be alone forever. No one's holding me back except for myself. Just live in the moment and let tomorrow take care of itself.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 3, 2019 17:11:03 GMT
Yup, sounds like you have all the pieces of the puzzle gathered up. Sometimes they can be a bit stubborn when trying to assemble them but it looks like you're well on your way.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 8, 2019 3:18:43 GMT
Well, I don't know if anyone remembers me from the POF boards but my mind has been going crazy lately and I don't have anyone to talk to about this so here I am, hoping someone could just give me some advice to help me readjust my thoughts. And before anyone tells me to go talk to a shrink, that just isn't an option for me because I can't afford one. ............ This all makes me want to go back to online dating so I can have a quick fling with someone so I can get my mind off the three guys above. But then, my problem is I don't seem to have the ability to do that. If I like them, I'll just get attached and then by breaking things off quick, I'll just be feeling sad all over again. If I ignore these feelings of wanting to be with a guy, does the desire to have sex disappear after a while? Or am I just destined to be stuck in this neverending longing? Yes I remember you from POF... Not being facetious here, but if you have a problem falling for men more deeply than you wanted..even though you just wanted a fling....maybe you should choose men who are fling-worthy, but not LTR-worthy. Sometimes women hard wire (NPI) this into the fling by choosing a married guy, or a man much older...which almost always guarantees a fun, physical relationship with no expectations, and an easy reason to cut things off. Ya, ya, I realize probably this wouldn't get the seal of approval from the relationship and/or psych experts ....either pros or forum know it alls..lol.....but it happens every day, cuz it's part of the human condition. Just my 2c.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 8, 2019 17:46:01 GMT
^^^I agree with SyrupentineFyre (that's a mouthful!)
If you're looking for a non-serious fling, just someone to lark about with and have a good time, don't even go near the guys you *think* you might want a LTR with. Serious mixed up messages to your own self. Crazy making.
And conversely if you really want a serious LTR, don't have sex with guys you could care less about. Another mixed message you're giving yourself. Again crazy making.
Sometimes having two casual BFs can help you not get all crazy about one and lose your mind when you need to keep your wits. Or like Fyre suggested, some married guy---though seems a good way to get killed IMO-- (no nookie worth your life!) or an older guy with a few bucks who sees you as young and fresh! Preferably in either case, not living in the same town as you~ Don't want to get *too much* of a 'Rep'< hahahahaha
Good Luck~
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 8, 2019 19:46:45 GMT
Sorry, but I can't bite my tongue while witnessing actions such as having an affair with an already married individual being encouraged. It is disgustingly immoral (on several levels) behavior that has been the cause of many many lives being destroyed. Not only can it be harmful to the individuals in the relationship/s, but often to innocent children who end up landing in the tumultuous, or perhaps single parent aftermath, as well. There are plenty of options not requiring total disregard for morality. Some have been mentioned here already
|
|
|
Post by bendingbough19 on Dec 9, 2019 0:06:55 GMT
I would not encourage a relationship or fling with a married person. I know so very many married people who have had affairs. Some have left their spouses and others just continue with very long-term affairs. In some cases, I have to wonder how on earth the spouse has not figured it out. I think if someone is willing to have an affair with one spouse, there is nothing to say they will not do the same with the next significant other. Affairs are dishonest at their core. A person, man or woman, has to get a backbone and be honest with their spouse. I don't have any respect for someone who wants their cake and eat it too and I can't respect the "new" partner of someone who is cheating on another human being. No one wins. Just please don't go down that road.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 9, 2019 0:20:51 GMT
I would not encourage a relationship or fling with a married person. I know so very many married people who have had affairs. Some have left their spouses and others just continue with very long-term affairs. In some cases, I have to wonder how on earth the spouse has not figured it out. I think if someone is willing to have an affair with one spouse, there is nothing to say they will not do the same with the next significant other. Affairs are dishonest at their core. A person, man or woman, has to get a backbone and be honest with their spouse. I don't have any respect for someone who wants their cake and eat it too and I can't respect the "new" partner of someone who is cheating on another human being. No one wins. Just please don't go down that road. It is nuts why someone who's needs isn't being met can't speak to their supposed best friend in the world and would rather do the dishonest thing and cheat.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 9, 2019 1:09:51 GMT
Lots of people have affairs. Not advocating, just reality.
Just try to help a sister get laid~
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 9, 2019 3:00:35 GMT
My intent was merely to see that how wrong of an action extramarital affairs are was put in the spotlight. And also stating that it was not a good idea to even imply that it might be a solution to ANY problem. Nobody was a target, and I genuinely apologize if my comments were interpreted like that.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 9, 2019 22:57:29 GMT
This *is* Frivolity so was just taking a somewhat light hearted view of the situation.
Seriously speaking/writing here, generally if you're REALLY HORNY, another REALLY HORNY person shows up.
Seriously. hahahahahah
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 10, 2019 2:34:11 GMT
Even as anti-relationship/marriage as I am, I won't involve myself with anyone who's married or has a boyfriend. For some reason, I do seem to attract women who are looking to cheat. I have no idea why.
|
|
|
Post by julystorm22 on Dec 10, 2019 5:40:09 GMT
I would never EVER have a fling with someone who is married. Having been cheated on I just can't condone it. Also, my parents set an example for me I don't wish to repeat. My dad cheated on my mom a fair bit and the last couple of years they were together they had an open marriage of sorts so I am not going to that realm ever.
What I crave more than sex is the intimacy, the feeling of just being close with someone. I want someone longterm but I can't have that because I lack the time and money required to make a relationship work. I settle for a quick fling during the 4 weeks the kids go to their dad's in the summer and another fling when they go for Christmas holidays for two weeks. Its great when its happening but when its over I just get depressed.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 11, 2019 2:41:21 GMT
I had 2 of my nieces living with me in succession for years. Having kids in the house is the biggest cock block ever. I had to approach sexual relations like mission impossible 😂
I’ve had the house to myself for years now so could potentially be swinging from chandeliers every night but now the urgency/need seems to have worn off. Don’t wait forever for shit that’s not worth waiting for 😂
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 11, 2019 2:50:48 GMT
Don’t wait forever for shit that’s not worth waiting for 😂 This is my new POF headline lol
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 12, 2019 6:09:34 GMT
I settle for a quick fling during the 4 weeks the kids go to their dad's in the summer and another fling when they go for Christmas holidays for two weeks. Its great when its happening but when its over I just get depressed. Well, I guess it's about time for some Christmas balls to start swinging here shortly, eh?
Ah, intimacy. If I know it's just going to be a fling, the last thing I want is "intimacy". I don't care how hot she is, I don't really want any cuddling going on. That's "pretend love" in my book, and I just can't do it.
I'm a cold-hearted viper, I know.
|
|