Post by bendingbough19 on Feb 26, 2020 2:24:28 GMT
Tomorrow is pink shirt day so an opportunity to think about all types and forms of bullying, mobbing, isolating, etc.
Adults make choices to bully, etc. all the time, in all types of forms, and when I see that happening, I respond by helping the bullied person out through kindness and letting the bully know it's not okay. Note, I am no hero as these are not situations where I am stopping a knife fight!!
However, I am feeling pulled about something. I think I mentioned that I returned to Facebook. I lost a few friends (to death) these past few years and I regret that I wasn’t communicating with them more regularly, even on a superficial level. They were wonderful people.
Regardless, one of the people on my FB is a friend from high school. We are not really close these days but we were close enough during those years that I can assuredly say that he is a gentle person and that I would not have concerns about being around him or having loved ones around him. It was his character, not an act. Anyway, the short version is that he was from a lot of money (the generational kind) and his father was rather an abusive tyrant. I saw a lot of that in high school – tons of money but horrible humans, who were also horrible parents. Anyway, his father was murdered, quite violently. Because of the money, it was huge news. It was rather a gong show of an investigation, but my high school friend was accused, convicted, but the conviction was eventually overturned. His family supported him throughout, except for the sister who I was in the same grade with. Maybe she has her doubts, and that is okay. There were certainly some parts of the case that led one to question. However, most of us who went to school with him and knew him were quite pleased when the conviction was overturned. Did he do it? I don’t know with certainty. Most of me thinks he likely did not because of his character, and because there just wasn’t enough blood on him for a crime of that violent nature. There are some lingering bits that I wonder about certain small things, but they can be explained. And yes, I recognize it helped immensely that he had the best defense money could buy. Another part of me is okay either way. In context, when walking my dogs, I have often been asked, “Does he bite?” to which my thought has been and always will be, “All dogs bite.” Of course, I’m friendlier and help children, for example, take a proper stance, etc. But my point is, any of us will bite, given the right circumstances. I truly believe that we are all capable of anything when pushed enough. And despite my childhood friend being a gentle soul, I believe he is human and could have been pushed. Again, I would not hesitate to trust an animal, child, or any defenseless human with him. But his father was truly awful. Whoever murdered him the way they did, likely had some pretty hard feelings toward him.
Anyway, there is a show coming up about him and other friends on FB are posting about how they are going to watch it and how he is so guilty, blah, blah, blah. If I stick up for him, I fear that they will respond with unthinking negative comments about him, and that he will be subjected to seeing these posts. If I say nothing, the comments won’t show up on his feed, as far as I know. There is also a reporter on my FB list, who I find can be ruthless and does not seem to mind bending the truth for a bit of attention.
Anyway, I am not feeling great about staying quiet but don’t want to highlight the situation and make things any more awkward for my friend by exposing him to the posts. Awkward? My God, what a freaking understatement for what he has been through. This sort of highlights what I never liked about FB in the first place and what contributed to the decision to delete my account. I just feel like the connections are so superficial and I have a need to let people I care about know they are more than a simple funny status update.
Adults make choices to bully, etc. all the time, in all types of forms, and when I see that happening, I respond by helping the bullied person out through kindness and letting the bully know it's not okay. Note, I am no hero as these are not situations where I am stopping a knife fight!!
However, I am feeling pulled about something. I think I mentioned that I returned to Facebook. I lost a few friends (to death) these past few years and I regret that I wasn’t communicating with them more regularly, even on a superficial level. They were wonderful people.
Regardless, one of the people on my FB is a friend from high school. We are not really close these days but we were close enough during those years that I can assuredly say that he is a gentle person and that I would not have concerns about being around him or having loved ones around him. It was his character, not an act. Anyway, the short version is that he was from a lot of money (the generational kind) and his father was rather an abusive tyrant. I saw a lot of that in high school – tons of money but horrible humans, who were also horrible parents. Anyway, his father was murdered, quite violently. Because of the money, it was huge news. It was rather a gong show of an investigation, but my high school friend was accused, convicted, but the conviction was eventually overturned. His family supported him throughout, except for the sister who I was in the same grade with. Maybe she has her doubts, and that is okay. There were certainly some parts of the case that led one to question. However, most of us who went to school with him and knew him were quite pleased when the conviction was overturned. Did he do it? I don’t know with certainty. Most of me thinks he likely did not because of his character, and because there just wasn’t enough blood on him for a crime of that violent nature. There are some lingering bits that I wonder about certain small things, but they can be explained. And yes, I recognize it helped immensely that he had the best defense money could buy. Another part of me is okay either way. In context, when walking my dogs, I have often been asked, “Does he bite?” to which my thought has been and always will be, “All dogs bite.” Of course, I’m friendlier and help children, for example, take a proper stance, etc. But my point is, any of us will bite, given the right circumstances. I truly believe that we are all capable of anything when pushed enough. And despite my childhood friend being a gentle soul, I believe he is human and could have been pushed. Again, I would not hesitate to trust an animal, child, or any defenseless human with him. But his father was truly awful. Whoever murdered him the way they did, likely had some pretty hard feelings toward him.
Anyway, there is a show coming up about him and other friends on FB are posting about how they are going to watch it and how he is so guilty, blah, blah, blah. If I stick up for him, I fear that they will respond with unthinking negative comments about him, and that he will be subjected to seeing these posts. If I say nothing, the comments won’t show up on his feed, as far as I know. There is also a reporter on my FB list, who I find can be ruthless and does not seem to mind bending the truth for a bit of attention.
Anyway, I am not feeling great about staying quiet but don’t want to highlight the situation and make things any more awkward for my friend by exposing him to the posts. Awkward? My God, what a freaking understatement for what he has been through. This sort of highlights what I never liked about FB in the first place and what contributed to the decision to delete my account. I just feel like the connections are so superficial and I have a need to let people I care about know they are more than a simple funny status update.
